No, it's not a trick question and there's nothing profound about what I'm about to say! But, back to the question. Do you find yourself around the Holidays aimlessly wandering around the malls hoping for divine inspiration as to what you should buy your girl?
You know she likes cosmetics, but the cosmetics counter leaves you with total sensory overload as a fleeting sense of panic starts to make itself known...and then it starts to stop being fleeting. You know what I mean? Well, there's still hope, you tell yourself: Women like clothes. So, you look around a little and you see some stuff that you think would look good on her. Yeah, Baby...now we're getting somewhere. Then it dawns on you...you've no idea of her sizes and now that you think of it your initial confidence is beginning to wane. Your a guy. What the hell do you know about shopping for clothes for her? After all, don't you remember all the times that she's come home despondent because she can't find anything to wear? What kind of chance do you have, under pressure, at that? You can't call her and ask her her size. One, because it would be a total giveaway that you are buying her clothes (which will invariably lead to a probing and unwelcome line of questioning from her further diminishing that waning confidence) and, two, even if you did have her sizes, you've no idea how to mix and match and accessorize. You'll dread the time for opening presents because you'll be seen as the utterly useless, inattentive and thoughtless moron that, in this area, at least, you are! Meanwhile you're surrounded by all the cool things that you'd forgotten that you'd wanted that she didn't and has bought you for yet another stellar year of holiday gift receiving.
You with me so far?
OK, OK, I'm here to help, so chill out, grab a paper and pen and let's sort this the heck out.
Repeat after me: I'm never going to find myself in this position again...and again.
Here's things as I see it:
You've got:
1. The Short-Term Fix
2. The Long-Term Fix
As I know that if you're reading this you're more interested in the short-term fix, let's start with the long-term fix. Hey, no skipping ahead!
The Long-Term Fix
Women send out signals. Men can learn how to interpret those signals and translate them into a form that their brains can recognize as information. But, here's the thing, you have to get out of moron-mode in a conscious way. This is what I mean: You go to the mall together. She's browsing, you're bored out of your skull. She's mmmming and holding up clothes and occasionally asking you for your opinion (which you don't have because we're not genetically programmed to have an opinion on women's clothes, scents, jewelry, etc unless it's actually on the woman - then we know what we like!) and you're just grunting and wishing you could get to EMS or Barnes and Noble (we're not all complete troglodytes) or the food court.
This, gentlemen is the precise moment when you need to pay attention!
She's transmitting...and now is the time to make a note of what she's looking at. Maybe ask a few questions like.."Do you like the beige or do you prefer the blue?", "I think it looks nice on you, what do you think?" It's ok to surreptitiously make a note of any info gleaned by this exercise. Use your PDA of a dedicated piece of paper kept in your wallet. Look at the item to see the size she's holding up. But, start keeping a list - very important.
Another opportunity. You're watching the box, the ads come on and there's something you think she might like. Ask her opinion, "Hey, have you tried out that perfume?" or "Is L.L. Bean's quality as good as they say?". Are you getting the idea? Good! This is how she always knows what to buy you. She pays attention. Plus, women are so much better at getting info.
Big Tip: Unless cooking is her passion or you have good actionable intel, stay away from items for the kitchen or for house cleaning. Nothing says you're a moron like a new vacuum cleaner on Christmas morning.
The Short-Term Fix
Make a note of the things she uses on a daily or weekly basis:
Her brand of perfume - is she running low?
The types of cosmetics she uses. Important: Get brand names and specific colors
The type of female oriented appliances she uses, e.g. Wax machine looking ratty?
Does she have a favorite sweat shirt that's looking a bit worn?
What type of jewelry is she favoring these days? White gold or yellow? Shabby or classy?
Does she need a new gym bag or running gear?
What can you get her for her hobbies or pastimes?
What kind of books is she reading?
Does she have a favorite new artist?
Ask yourself:
What would increase her comfort level? Would she like to be able to start her car from her office on those cold winter evenings?
What has she always said that she wanted to do in the future? They sell gift certificates for piano lessons or photography classes or foreign language courses.
What would demonstrate sincere thought and effort? How about a fully booked and arranged winter weekend getaway with massages? Or, arrange babysitting for a romantic weekend in the sun.
Tip: Ask other women their opinion (the sales clerk can be helpful, but often they just want you to buy something). Call her Mom or her sister or best friend. They always know!
But, don't leave it too late...
Good Luck!
This intel first appeared on: http://www.squidoo.com/staying-together
